Borrowed Time
My dog Nikko is recovering from Cancer. He had a large tumor removed from his right shoulder, and has a long scar to show for it, though the hair is growing back around it. The vet cannot guarantee it will not come back or even show up elsewhere. I'm glad we had it removed -- he has more energy again.
But Nikko is about twelve years old, and for a large dog, that's old. So, if the cancer doesn't get him, something will. With all that in mind, I enjoy every day I have with him; the walks, the car rides, the mock battles in bed, and the singing (howling). It will all end one day, and I will miss him greatly.
In a way, I also am on borrowed time. I am over sixty. Though I have no deadly diseases that I know of, one never knows what might happen tomorrow. But even if I live to 110, I try to approach each day as a treasure, a gift that may not last. I wake up and am thankful that I can still work and have a job. I set aside the feeling that I really don't feel like getting out of bed.
Life isn't always easy or pain-free, but it's better than the alternative, and the Lord has been good to me. I look forward to seeing my little grandchildren get married and have their own families. But one day, I'll have to say goodbye to them all, and I do not like that thought. So I treasure each day, borrowed time or not.
Goodbye, Old Friend
Nikko's strength dropped. The vet said his chest cavity was filling with fluid from a tumor. She drained what she could, and we expected perhaps weeks to consider treatment or prepare for his death.
We had days, not weeks. By Sunday, the pressure was back, and Sunday night was a horrible time watching him unable to lie down, unable to rest, as he had to stand to breath.
Monday morning we took him to the vet for relief. I did not want him to die like that. I made an appointment for Friday for his lethal injection. It turned out that the vet could not remove the fluid with his chest heaving, so we were sent to Dublin where the clinic removed over two liters of fluid. Afterwards, Nikko was so weak I had to roll him onto his couch, where he did not move for hours.
Nikko regained strength Tuesday, but did not want to walk far with me. He could sing again a little. But I felt the chest refilling fast, and knew he could not last until Friday. He was able to sleep Tuesday night, but I knew I would have to move his time to Wednesday. The vet had said to have the office call her when the time came, even on her day off, as she loved him too.
Shandy and Pat brought the dog, picked me up at work, and we went for Nikko's last trip. Russ met us there for the goodbye. It was time -- he was not yet in pain or distress. We all talked to him and petted him as the injection to make him unconscious took hold. We all cried.
"Was I a good dog?"
-- "Yes, you were a very good dog."
"Are you still there?"
-- "Yes, we're all still here. It's all right, Nikko. Good Dog."
Goodbye, old friend. I'm crying again as I write this.
Yes he was a good dog
Yes he was a good dog
Hospice
Nikko has lost strength, and has been breathing oddly and has been spitting up. X-Rays show chest cavity full of fluid and a growth. The vet drained about 700 fl oz, which was not all there, but all they could get. Chemo might control it, but that's very hard on the dog. It's time to keep him as comfortable as we can and accept that the end is coming soon.
Encouraging
Last week Nikko had his first post-op check-up. He came through fine - doing well, and the doc said he is as healthy as a dog half his age, so keep up whatever we are doing. Maybe the alfalfa tablets and the fish oil are doing him good. I hope on my own next physical I get a report like that.
Thanks for the reminder
One of the last Sunday school teachings I taught to the youth was about how every day is a gift from God. A Gift. I'll speak for myself and say that I enjoy gifts, so why do I push it back into His hands somedays? What I mean to say is instead of being happy and embracing it sometimes I'm sad and I just want to fall back asleep and ignore it.
Even if I'm not healthy, I have got to keep embracing my days that He gives me. He keeps giving them to me so that means something. Even if I'm stuck in bed all day, maybe I was awake to pray for someone that day.