A Moment I Miss

 

It’s an overcast December day. It looks like it’s going to rain but I know that it won’t. I’ve just dropped Aly off at work and I’m contemplating whether or not to get a hot Starbucks drink. I’m driving past stores and see bundled up people entering and leaving. The ones that are entering look like they have a million things on their minds. The ones that are leaving have full bags. It’s Christmas time.

I decide to get a Starbucks. Surprise, surprise. The cups are dark red for the holidays. I slide on a sleeve and walk back to my car. I know where I’m going next. I already told my mom before I left that I’d be gone a little longer. I turn on my car and Christmas music immediately pops on. Not the annoying kind on the radio, but my c.d. At the moment it’s Shane & Shane’s Christmas one. Now, time to drive. I leave Dublin and head into Pleasanton on the back roads. If you know me then you’ll know that I don’t like driving on the freeway. Mostly because I’m afraid of missing my exit and becoming horribly lost because I lack a sense of direction sometimes.

I’m on my way to a park called Pleasant Ridge in between Pleasanton and Sunol. The drive is lined with all kinds of trees and houses that get bigger and more interesting. No one is driving behind me so I don’t have to worry about pulling over to let them pass me. Even though I’m going the speed limit, I enjoy the drive too much for someone to bother me like that so I’ll get rid of them as soon as they’re too close. No one is in front of me. The road is mine. I pass a gorgeously green golf course and observe that no one is out today because of the weather. I stop at the stop sign next to it and look around. Deer have popped out of nowhere in this area so I slowly drive forward after seeing that it’s clear all around.

This moment coming up is the one I miss the most and has been stuck in my head these last few months. It’s still overcast. There is a grayish blanket covering the trees and ground. I smell my hot coffee in my car that has the windows rolled up. I pass another little park while I’m singing one of Shane & Shane’s songs, “Fall on your knees… Oh hear the angels voices…”. Me driving all alone, in that holiday gloomy weather, singing one of my favorite Christmas songs, surrounded by nature… That to me is one of the perfect moments I miss. Just me singing in the car, on a beautiful drive, by myself, makes me Nikki. Add all of the other elements that I wrote above and it’s perfect.

That is a moment I miss. Not sure if I will be able to relive it this year but hopefully next year.